Day #27 - "Gunning"
JOANNA: How did the audition go?
LISE: Great. Well, okay. Well, I have no idea.
JOANNA: You really have no idea how you did?
LISE: Oh, I don’t know. I might feel okay about it, but the way he looks at me, I don’t know if I can trust myself to judge.
JOANNA: Who, Jason? I seriously doubt he thinks as little of you as you seem to think he does. I mean, he’s given you roles before.
LISE: Yeah, but you don’t see how he is. Like… like no matter how hard I try, I am never going to do well enough for him. No matter how well I think I do, he always pushes for more.
JOANNA: No wonder you’re so stressed out. He sounds like a pain.
LISE: No! It’s not him. Joanna, he’s brilliant. He has so much talent and creativity, and all this passion for dance… if anything, it’s because I’m not good enough.
JOANNA: You’re an amazing dancer, Lise.
LISE: Not amazing enough. Not for him, anyway. But believe me, he’s not the problem.
JOANNA: Then what is it?
LISE: It’s… this other girl. This other dancer in the company.
JOANNA: Which one?
LISE: Her name’s Marina. Maybe it’s crazy, but I feel like… like she’s gunning for me.
JOANNA: Oh, come on.
LISE: Not like that! Like she sees me as competition, and she wants me out of the way.
JOANNA: Well, as far as I’m concerned, you are the dancer to beat.
LISE: She’s really good, Jo. And she’s good at all the things that were tough for me. She’s clean, she’s precise, she’s consistent… Jason’s got to see that.
JOANNA: Was she at the audition too?
JOANNA: How’d she do?
LISE: I wasn’t really able to watch her. But I’m sure she was great. She has so much focus, you know? I bet she wasn’t second-guessing herself, trying to gauge Jason’s reaction.
JOANNA: I hope you didn’t trip yourself up worrying about him rather than what you were doing.
LISE: Geez. That’s probably exactly what I did.
JOANNA: Don’t beat yourself up too much about it. That seems like exactly the way to psych yourself out.
LISE: I just… don’t know if I have it, you know?
JOANNA: I know. But that’s one way to never find out.