31 Plays in 31 Days: #17 - "Slimming"

Today's piece came from watching Project Runway, which my mom recently got me into. The teaser for next week's episode suggested they'd be designing for non-models-- people bigger than a size two and below five-ten --and perhaps even actual plus-sizes. Unfortunately there was the definite suggestion that the designers were struggling to make nice clothes for people who weren't built like the walking coat hangers, and I know they design those teasers to be as shocking and inflammatory as possible to draw people in, but I will be very displeased if they spend the whole episode making fat people feel bad about themselves. So I wrote this in response to that attitude-- if that is in fact a mindset on the next episode of the show, I hope they are similarly disabused.

For those who know the show, I picture Freddy being a lot like Christopher Palu (whose Jared-like combination of great talent and emotional delicacy I find endearing) and Heidi is named, of course, in tribute to the Aryan Uberfrau who hosts.

Day #17 - "Slimming"

(Enter FREDDY MOREAU, gangly in avant-garde dress, with HEIDI KLEIN, heavyset and well put-together. He leads her to sit in a chair beside a drawing table and a body form.)

FREDDY: Heidi, I’m so honored that you came to me.

HEIDI: Well, I really liked what you did on Design Star. That tuxedo-styled cocktail dress with the peplum was great.

FREDDY: Oh, thank you! I was really proud of that one. So you need an evening gown, right?

HEIDI: Mom’s up for an Oscar this year, and they say she has a decent chance of winning, so we all have to look good for the cameras.

FREDDY: Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you look amazing for the big night.

(He pulls some pages out of a portfolio and hands them to her for inspection.)

FREDDY: I was making some sketches…

HEIDI: Wow, Freddy. These are… flowier than you usually do.

FREDDY: Yeah, I thought it would work for you.

HEIDI: I was kind of hoping we could do something with a peplum. Like on the tuxedo dress.

FREDDY: Oh, trust me, this will be much more flattering. See, it’s got a long, A-line skirt and an empire waist—

HEIDI: How come?

FREDDY: A-lines always look good. And empire waists are very forgiving to the midsection.

HEIDI: Okay.

FREDDY: And we’ll do it all up in a sophisticated black taffeta.

HEIDI: I like brighter colors. I was thinking maybe orange, or coral.

FREDDY: But black is so sleek! Or navy, navy is easy to wear too! And with your skin— you’ll glow!

(He pulls out a length of black taffeta and drapes it over HEIDI.)

FREDDY: See? Very elegant.

HEIDI: Freddy.

FREDDY: Yeah?

HEIDI: No matter what, I’m still going to be fat.

FREDDY: What?

HEIDI: No matter how slimming all your little design tricks are, nobody’s actually going to think I’m slim.

FREDDY: Oh, Heidi, no! You’re not fat, you’re just… full-figured!

HEIDI: Seriously, Freddy.

FREDDY: But that’s okay! We just have to pick the right style for you!

HEIDI: The style to make me look most like… I’m not fat?

FREDDY: Everybody looks good in different things.

HEIDI: But if you’re fat, that’s big and drapey in boring colors.

FREDDY: Every figure is different!

HEIDI: Exactly. I know you got used to designing for runway models, but we’re not all walking coat hangers.

FREDDY: I was trying to consider that.

HEIDI: And not everybody wants to look like one. Consider that.

FREDDY: I just… I just wanted to help you look good.

HEIDI: Good, yeah. Not thin. And if you need a six-foot hundred-pound woman to make your clothes look good, well, maybe you’re not that good a designer after all.

(She gets up and goes to leave.)

FREDDY: Wait! Please, Heidi… why don’t you tell me what you want to look like? I… I’m sure I can make that happen for you.

(HEIDI considers him a moment, then returns to the chair.)

FREDDY: So… you like orange and pink, huh?